so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
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The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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