My hair reeks of homosexuality.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I want is dick and wine.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize