its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
