Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
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Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
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I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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