You really coming over, don't trick.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
