Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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