I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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