its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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