New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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