White coat. Heels.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
