You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize