thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
