This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
