The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
