what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
