she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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