Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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