In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
