Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize