just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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