My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This baby is an asshole
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize