you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime