I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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