Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
