And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
