lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
