I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
