My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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