Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
