We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You are a genius and a whore.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
