GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize