I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
