apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
