this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish I only lived at night.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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