Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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