I wish I only lived at night.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
