Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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