Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
