so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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