And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
