She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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