did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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