Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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