That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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