I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
