Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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