No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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