i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
