marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
