I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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