The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
