i think i have herpe
just one?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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