"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
