Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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