Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize