this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
not ubering you a puppy
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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