I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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